Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm trapped under a sleeping cat

I'm working on a poem for my next workshop, and my feet keep coming out all wrong:

Métis (a fragment after Keats)


Volcanic Age: young gods but newly bound,
And she a barefoot girl with owl's eyes
The source's maid, Oceanus' sound
And gentle counsel; mother of the wise
Girl Tritogenia, migrainous surprise
Athena: seahorse child of Zeus' crown.
Wise Counsel slept mornings in, hair unbound
Gainst Zeus’ thund’rous arms, soft igneous thighs
Like rocks smoothed soft by rivers; longing lovers drown’d.


As dreamers sleep conjoin’d in Jungian fens,
Their exit breaths informing ev’nings gloam,
And lovers drown in exhalations -- men
Drawn off the path by light from phantom homes
As Aphrodite, luminescent, roams
The cookie-batter continents again.
So Métis, turning in her sleep, a wren
Spelunking snugly in her mountain home,
As biggest boy exhaled a soft psookhen.

But really. You try fitting Tritogenia and Oceanus into a Spencerian stanza. And that psookhen bit? Totally not sure about it. But see the liguistic path from 'psyche? Eh? Eh?

1 comment:

momeester said...

Ah my young HD! A very ambitious piece. I love how you mix classical forms with modern and classical diction. Its after Keats without being fake keasian.

Most irreverent thought --is the myth of Zeus and Metis the source of the song there was an old lady who swallowed a fly?

I think this has real potential. I think the psooken can work. Can you give it more context?