Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Nasty, fat hobbit seeks same

I've been looking for part time work for some time now, and recently ran across this ad:

Relationship Assistance - Part Time
Date: 2009-04-28, 7:43AM PDT

Super busy affluent SF Arts/ Entrepreneur who travels a lot for work needs part time help finding a girlfriend/LTR. I figured that someone out there must have the skills and time to do this for me, like hiring a recruiter to help find the right employee. This is a project that might take a month or two. The pay would be $30 an hour up to $5000 with a bonus if we succeed. I am a 50 something year old fit, smart, attractive, cultured, extrovert, humorous, white guy married once no kids. And I am a quasi high profile SF person with full a biography and photos online i.e. not some closet weirdo. I’m looking for a youthful super smart stylish creative urban woman who lives in SF for LTR. That seems pretty straightforward. The job would involve finding and interviewing 5- 10 women online and in person (I am picky visually). It would take a couple months I assume.

If you are interested in this job, please send me a note and let me know why you would be good at it, why I should trust you, and how you would go about it. Confidentiality and discretion on all levels is a priority. I’ve never done this before, and I am neither patient nor experienced with online dating. You need to be SF based, college educated, smart and street savvy, with a highly organized nature, great sense of humor, refined taste and an especially good eye. You can send me a resume if you want, but this is not essential.


Anyway, I thought it was a little funny and a little odd, but also I kind of like playing matchmaker and thought it might be interesting to try. So I sent the ad to Brian for his perspective. What follows is our skype chat, edited only slightly for length and clarity.

Brian Andrews
4:50 PM

I first read LTR as 'Lord of the Rings'

norasawyer
4:50 PM

LTR?

Brian Andrews
4:51 PM

"I’m looking for a youthful super smart stylish creative urban woman who lives in SF for Lord of the Rings."

norasawyer
4:51 PM

confused smileys
That would be a better job.

Brian Andrews
4:54 PM

"I am a 50 something year old fit, smart, attractive, cultured, extrovert, humorous, white hobbit looking for a way to get rid of this damn ring."

norasawyer
4:54 PM

decompression sickness
"smoker preferred."

Brian Andrews
4:56 PM

i like um raw and wriggling

norasawyer
4:57 PM

Ew.

Brian Andrews
4:57 PM

with taters

norasawyer
4:58 PM

"Civil servant seeks frigid woman looking for someone to melt her mannish heart. Must like swordplay, nursing, and NĂºmenĂ³reans, but be willing to settle for me."

Brian Andrews
4:59 PM

ha
happy smileys

Edited to add: should you need a refresher on the plot of Lord of the Rings, here's some guys from New Zealand's take:

2 comments:

momeester said...

you guys are too funny

Tricia said...

very funny.

but after the med school craigslist murderer I would be cautious. But I AM a nervous nellie these days,